Approaching the end of March, many of us have our eyes set on warmer weather and longer days. But be careful -- there’s still one thing standing between you and stoney picnics with your friends on the hills of Dolores Park: April Fools’ Day. Ah, yes the wonderful 24 hours of the year we all must remain totally ready, vigilant, and alert for any skulduggery that may be thrown our way by a hooligan lying in wait with nefarious intentions -- dagnabit! To help you remain on guard, we’ve compiled a list of some of our favorite sativa products across the board, sure to help you remain awake, on your toes, and prepared for any tomfoolery that may float your way before the clock strikes midnight on April 1st:

Utopia’s Chemdawg: Chemdawg is regarded as a classic sativa-dominant strain for many reasons -- it’s pungent, gassy aroma arguably inspires alertness just giving the jar a whiff, and it’s hard-hitting effects are great for focus-oriented tasks. Fending off a pack of laugh-thirsty friends dead set on making you the main star of their next hilarious prank certainly qualifies as one such task. Utopia’s batch of Chemdawg tests @ 27.77% THC and is available on the top shelf @ $45/eighth, while supplies last.


Flow Kana’s Happy Day Headband: Headband is the result of crossing three powerhouse strains: Sour Diesel, OG Kush, and Master Kush. With its seemingly balanced lineage, the palpably energizing and uplifting effects may come as a surprise to some, but its overwhelming fuel-like aroma suggests the Sour Diesel influence is the strongest of its three parents. Flow Kana’s take on this classic strain is as good as it gets: dense triangle shaped buds peppered with orange hairs throughout, combined with a pungent fuel like aroma. Happy Day Headband is the perfect strain to keep you alert and in the game this April Fools’ Day, ensuring the you’ll have an...ahem...happy day. $35/eighth, while supplies last.


King’s Garden Jack Herer Live Shatter: You may notice we’ve been sticking to the classics so far with our selections -- this is indeed purposeful: there is no time for experimentation on a day on which we’re all as vulnerable as we are on April 1st. Save the experimentation for the other 363 days of the year! Jack Herer is tried and tested -- this sweet, piney strain is renowned for it’s mood-enhancing and energizing effects. In extract form, this Jack Herer Shatter (66.09% THC) from King’s Garden is ideal for members with high tolerances and a sweet tooth -- just don’t bite off more than you can chew! Er uh, more than you can smoke -- whatever. $40/gram, while supplies last.


Utopia’s GG #4 Live Cake: We swing back to versatile Utopia for another fine extract selection, and yes, another classic sativa-dominant strain. GG #4 generally boasts high THC content, earning the title of ‘One of the World’s Strongest Strains of All Time’ from HERB. Exhibiting obvious Chem influence (Chem Sis x Sour Dubb x Chocolate Diesel), G.G. #4 offers a pleasantly pungent aroma and a palpable sense of mood-enhancement upon consumption. Utopia’s Live Cake (64.34% THC) is packed with cannabinoids and terpenes, all while offering a workable, malleable consistency that’s great for either mixing with flower or dabbing. As long as you have GG #4 in your stash, you’ll never be a fool! $20/half gram, while supplies last.


KIVA’s Camino Pineapple Habanero Gummies: Though we were hesitant to include an edible on such a list, the supreme dosability and tastiness of KIVA’s new Camino gummies forced our hand: Pineapple Habanero is both delicious and sourced from sativa-dominant cannabis. Enjoy 100mg of total THC spread out over 20 delicious gummies, helping low-tolerance patients correctly dose their portions at just 5mg THC per gummy. We highly recommend Camino Pineapple Habanero for edible fans that want to remain alert enough to sense any trickster planning his or her next move. $18/pack, while supplies last.


So there you go: we’ve done our part -- the rest is up to you. Get a full night’s rest on March 31st, hydrate accordingly, do some push-ups, etc., and of course pay heed to the golden rule of April Fools’ Day: be ready for anything. You’re already on the right track by reading this far -- now hurry down to Elemental to get your April Fools’ kit before we’re cleared out! All products mentioned available as of 3/30/2019, while supplies last.


Good luck, Elemental Family, and hope to see you in soon!